Good Old Fashioned Brick & Mortar Bookshops
Do you grow tired of the advances of the charlatan conqueror, who espouses such meretricious values as 'convenience' and 'low price'? We refer of course to E, that most pernicious of characters, prefixing itself to all noble traditions from courtship to lettermail. Do you know its latest victim? The Book, the very food of a man's mind, and the establishment in which it is bartered!
Consider this, dear reader: If knowledge can be accessed by any man, from the lord to the urchin, does it not lose potency as a symbol of power & wealth? Must we not pay the bookbinder for his craft? Simply because a work is in the so-called 'public domain', would you stoop to acquiring it at no charge, as a beggar would?
Consider furthermore: Would you have your next library addition recommended by an automaton possessing neither wit nor wisdom? No! In our stores we uphold the bookseller's tradition, employing only the finest of college students with Starbucks experience.
Consider furthermore still: Is it not true that waiting between six and eight weeks for a rare title serves only to ferment the curiosity?
Consider additionally: Do not your shelves present a grand façade when filled? Does not your table occasionally wobble? Is it not prudent to keep emergency stove-fuel? Despite its doubly-misleading moniker, one cannot ignite a Kindle Fire!
Consider, in summation: The conqueror E has no doubt already invaded your home. Stem his advance with the integrity of brick & mortar!
Embrace Tradition! Reject 'E' Books! Ask About Our Membership Cards!