Originally published on Segfault.org (RIP) on Tuesday, April 18, 2000, by Stephen Van Esch.

http://segfault.org/story.phtml?id=38fca558-0946e200

Via Internet Archive's Wayback Machine:

http://web.archive.org/web/20010727200420/http://segfault.org/story.phtml?id=38fca558-0946e200

The letter i was found floating in a river just outside Palo Alto, California early yesterday morning. A gunshot wound to the dot is the suspected cause of death.

Rising to prominence when Apple introduced the iMac 2 years ago, i went from little used member of the alphabet family to completely overused member of the alphabet family. Apple, as the originator, was the most frequent abuser of the letter. iMac and iBook were followed this year by iTools, iCards and iReview. Other companies such as Farallon (iPrint) and iDesk Games also abused the letter.

Police have no suspects but are certain that someone from the general public is to blame. Other possible suspects include journalists who were just fed up with trying to figure out how to start a sentence when a proper name's first letter is lower case.

Though tragic, few seem sorry to see i put to rest.

"That damn i was just everywhere," said one observer. "i this and i that. I'm just tired of hearing about it."

An Apple spokesperson reported that Steve Jobs was deeply affected by the event. "i was an integral part of his vision for Apple, as you can see by the ubiquitous use of it in the Apple product line," said the spokesperson. Jobs had no comment.

Some see the murder of i as a sign of the times. Many cite the murder of "cyber" as a precursor to the death of i. Cyber exhibited the same popularity and was overused in its time. Cyber was found stabbed to death in its villa in the south of France. The letter e is also a victim of alphabet terrorism and is in a coma in a local hospital after being brutally beaten by a group of deranged marketers.

Police have stepped up surveillance of .com in anticipation of another possible attack.

".com is way more popular and trendy than i ever was," said Detective Mary Sweet. "It's only a matter of time before someone tries to take .com out."

"We are carefully watching fringe groups like the one headed by 'Lowry'. His group has produced several anti-dot com slogans and are being monitored for suspicious activity." said Sweet.

"Lowry" is not a suspect in the i case.

A private funeral service will be held for i this weekend. Few are expected to attend. Coincidentally, a huge party is being held in a large warehouse next door.